Friday, April 5, 2013

Thoughts on grieving

It's the little things you miss the most.

My mom always made sure Daniel had a blanket over his legs if it were cold out during a walk. At night, tucked into bed, she would check him multiple times to be sure he was covered, head comfortably placed on his pillow.

When we went out for dinner together, it was my mom who never forgot to bring extra of everything for him. Bandanas, toys, cups, water, clothing or a jacket. When it was time to line up at the buffet for food, she stayed behind with him allowing the rest of us to fill our plates first.

During visits to my parent's home in Illinois, when the rest of the family would gather for a barbeque or celebration, she was the first to volunteer to hold him or walk with him when he would fuss. She did this for thirteen and a half years.

We lived together from 2000 to 2002 when he was between the ages of one and three. After dinner, she refused my help with the dishes saying, "you just take care of Daniel." I worked a part-time job during those years, and she was my constant back-up with both of my kids.

Every new school year she shopped with me during my summer visit and bought clothes for the kids. Throughout the year, she sent boxes of clothes and toys for Daniel. She knew what he liked the most, and was always on the look-out for a squishy toy or a little car.

When I think about it, those little things are really the big things.




2 comments:

Heather said...

Sending you love as you are missing your mom. I am right there with you. 9 months yesterday for me. And now with Gracie. Do you think I will always mark things with days and months and years? Seems all too much sometimes. It really does.

Carolyn said...

You've been on my mind, Heather. I think we'll always mark the time, but hopefully it will be less painful to count those days. Praying for you and your family. And yes, it does feel like too much sometimes. Much love to you.