My last post was about changing some things in myself. I used to be much more open. Somewhere along the way I started editing myself. I don't want to offend people, and I want to fit in and be liked. So alot of times I leave out parts of my story that I think might sound too weird, New Agey or out of the mainstream. I don't usually get into politics. I'm vocal at home, and with people who I know won't challenge me. That's pretty chicken shit.
I admire the outspoken. I was listening to the radio on the way to work the other morning and the DJ's were talking about some celebrities who identified publicly with a political party, and how they're doing themselves a disservice. "That's why you'll never know who we're voting for," the DJ ended with. It made me think. It's good to play it safe if you want to maintain popularity on the radio or in life. But it's the people who speak up that get our attention and really force us to figure out where we stand. And it's how true allies and friendships are formed.
I'll start with one thing. I believe that we are eternal, and that we have some choice regarding the life we enter and the people whose lives we'll be involved with.
Before Daniel was conceived I was working on a book proposal. ARE Press published my book 'Walking the Spiritual Walk' in 1994, and I wanted to follow it up with one about conscious conception and preparation for parenthood. One of the chapters I researched was the idea of conception mandalas. I read about them, and then made my own.
I read these books while I prepared the sample chapters and tried to live what I was writing.
The proposal was being considered by a publisher, and I had people on board to add their support on the back cover. Then Daniel was born and there was no time to write. I figured I'd come back to it later.
My first book was largely about my marriage to Daniel's dad, and when that didn't work out, I really lost faith. I questioned many of the things I thought I'd figured out. I felt very much like a failure. It shook my foundation, for sure.
I found out that life isn't as simple as I once imagined it to be. It's not neat. It's messy. It hurts. But if we aren't honest about our mistakes, our flaws and our Truths, we are stuck.
Here's to the Martin Luther King Jr.'s of the world, and all those who aren't afraid to speak their truth.
4 comments:
Despite your reticence, Carolyn, your soul and truth ring out. I am intrigued to hear more.
I learned, as I have gone along in this life, that we all have a story. A journey and yes, a past. Some of which we can be infinitely proud of, and other parts, not so much but in the end, it has shaped us into the people we are today.
I am so happy that you are willing to share these aspects of your life. I, also, believe much of the same. Shortly after Adam's accident, I had a past lives regression session. I learned how to connect with my spirit guides when I needed help. I also learned that Adam and I shared many lives in the past, in many roles and in many types of relationships. We keep picking each other, over and over, and that's fine with me. I learned much about self, my wife and kids and parents over a 7 hour session,
I guess I believe we choose our soul group and that we are spiritual beings having a human experience (over and over). It's a phrase borrowed from Teillhard de Chardin. We are learning to reach a higher level of consciousness. We even have people in our soul group who have chosen to play the role of the "indifferents" so that we can learn what we should not be.
There is a wealth of research into past lives, esp Brian Weiss, MD. We choose our group and path before birth, often we forget our plan, we just live it out.
It's really ok...I am a big believer in soul groups, past lives and parallel universes. Time is just a man made invention...this happen on an energetic level, which is not measurable by human standards.
Love you story, it rings deeply true.
Phil, Talking with you and reading Sharon's book helped me decide to share more.
The "God only gives special children to special parents" and the "Shit happens" viewpoints aren't the only ones out there. I appreciate your openness.
Elizabeth and Heather, love ya both!
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