My last post was about changing some things in myself. I used to be much more open. Somewhere along the way I started editing myself. I don't want to offend people, and I want to fit in and be liked. So alot of times I leave out parts of my story that I think might sound too weird, New Agey or out of the mainstream. I don't usually get into politics. I'm vocal at home, and with people who I know won't challenge me. That's pretty chicken shit.
I admire the outspoken. I was listening to the radio on the way to work the other morning and the DJ's were talking about some celebrities who identified publicly with a political party, and how they're doing themselves a disservice. "That's why you'll never know who we're voting for," the DJ ended with. It made me think. It's good to play it safe if you want to maintain popularity on the radio or in life. But it's the people who speak up that get our attention and really force us to figure out where we stand. And it's how true allies and friendships are formed.
I'll start with one thing. I believe that we are eternal, and that we have some choice regarding the life we enter and the people whose lives we'll be involved with.
Before Daniel was conceived I was working on a book proposal. ARE Press published my book 'Walking the Spiritual Walk' in 1994, and I wanted to follow it up with one about conscious conception and preparation for parenthood. One of the chapters I researched was the idea of conception mandalas. I read about them, and then made my own.
I read these books while I prepared the sample chapters and tried to live what I was writing.
The proposal was being considered by a publisher, and I had people on board to add their support on the back cover. Then Daniel was born and there was no time to write. I figured I'd come back to it later.
My first book was largely about my marriage to Daniel's dad, and when that didn't work out, I really lost faith. I questioned many of the things I thought I'd figured out. I felt very much like a failure. It shook my foundation, for sure.
I found out that life isn't as simple as I once imagined it to be. It's not neat. It's messy. It hurts. But if we aren't honest about our mistakes, our flaws and our Truths, we are stuck.
Here's to the Martin Luther King Jr.'s of the world, and all those who aren't afraid to speak their truth.
