I am fighting feelings of frustration (I'm pissed) stemming from an interaction I had with someone who assumes that my life with Daniel is one of struggle and unhappiness.
My blog title is Daniel's Gift. Maybe gift should be plural, because he has more than one. He is one of the happiest people I know, or at least his smiles and belly laughs would indicate so. The guy wakes up smiling, for god's sake. He's funny. He has a sense of humor and cracks us up at times. He's just an all around cool dude. This doesn't mean that his disability is a gift per se, it means that we all have gifts to offer, disabled or not.
So, to clear my mind, I'm going to quote someone I have immense admiration for.
"It is worthwhile making a distinction between talents and gifts. More important than our talents are our gifts. We have only a few talents, but we have many gifts. Our gifts are the many ways in which we express our humanity. They are part of who we are: Friendship, kindness, patience, joy, peace, forgiveness, gentleness, love, hope, trust, and many others. These are the true gifts we have to offer to each other.
Somehow I have known this for a long time, especially through my personal experience of the enormous healing power of these gifts. But since my coming to live in a community with mentally handicapped people, I have rediscovered this simple truth. Few, if any, of those people have talents they can boast of. Few are able to make contributions to our society that allow them to earn money, compete on the open market, or win awards. But how splendid are their gifts! Bill, who suffered intensely as a result of shattered family relationships, has a gift for friendship that I have seldom experienced. Even when I grow impatient or distracted by other people, he remains always faithful and continues to support me in all I do. Linda, who has a speech handicap, has a unique gift for welcoming people. Many who have stayed in our community remember Linda as the one who made them feel at home. Adam, who is unable to speak, walk, or eat without help and who needs constant support, has the great gift of bringing peace to those who care for him and live with him. The longer I live in L'Arche, the more I recognize the true gifts that in us, seemingly non-handicapped people, often remain buried beneath our talents. The so-visible brokenness of our handicapped people has, in some mysterious way, allowed them to offer their gifts freely and without inhibition.
More surely than ever before, I know now that we are called to give our very lives to one another and that, in so doing, we become a true community of love."
~Henri Nouwen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World
So there (I say, sticking my tongue out)!
2 comments:
Your post clearly reflects life with a disabled child, no matter the intensity of the disability. Too many people do try to define "our" reality and our perceptions by their own views. I am happiest when left alone to simply enjoy my son...who also never fails to wake with a glowing smile. Is there more in life that we should desire? If there a need to define our experience? I fully understand how you could be pissed.
I love Henri Nouwen, and his writing has meant so much to me over the years, helping me to live and care for my daughter Sophie. Thank you for re-posting this terrific passage. I am going to re-post it, I think, on my own blog over the next few days.
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